So I am slowing lowering my medication dose in preparation for pregnancy and fertility treatment which starts on the 13th of August I hoping I will be pregnant within the next few months, I am so excited at the thought of being a mother it’s my dream— A chance to bring life into this world and watch it grow with the man I love by my side.
The last 10 days have been a whirlwind, lots of mood swings and crying and yelling. Inder is doing his best to support me, we meditate every day and hit the gym a few times a week… its helps but sometimes I just loose it and all the symptoms just hit me. Its typical Bipolar stuff; paranoia, mood swings, depressive/mania episodes (short ones) — it makes me feel helpless, and angry and myself.. sometimes I even just want to give in and take my meds… Especially on days like today when I end up screaming at him over something stupid and push him into  corner and he ends up breaking down. I hate that, I feel guilty and hate myself alot.
I know it will be worth though in the end.. To hold a child in my arms, with his eyes; I couldn’t ask for anything more. 

So I am slowing lowering my medication dose in preparation for pregnancy and fertility treatment which starts on the 13th of August I hoping I will be pregnant within the next few months, I am so excited at the thought of being a mother it’s my dream— A chance to bring life into this world and watch it grow with the man I love by my side.

The last 10 days have been a whirlwind, lots of mood swings and crying and yelling. Inder is doing his best to support me, we meditate every day and hit the gym a few times a week… its helps but sometimes I just loose it and all the symptoms just hit me. Its typical Bipolar stuff; paranoia, mood swings, depressive/mania episodes (short ones) — it makes me feel helpless, and angry and myself.. sometimes I even just want to give in and take my meds… Especially on days like today when I end up screaming at him over something stupid and push him into  corner and he ends up breaking down. I hate that, I feel guilty and hate myself alot.

I know it will be worth though in the end.. To hold a child in my arms, with his eyes; I couldn’t ask for anything more. 

(Source: nekronymph)

hopeful-and-depressed:

Everyone needs a little reminder sometimes

hopeful-and-depressed:

Everyone needs a little reminder sometimes

I can’t blame you for leaving
I’ve fucked up way too many times
Just know that I’m still in love with you
So I’ll continue to pretend that I’m fine

In the universes
where we did not meet
do you still miss me, does
your heart still ache with
some emptiness
unexplained
are you still
searching for a
hint of my face

i have glimpsed into the universes
where we have been torn asunder
and i have found myself
with shaking hands and a
heavy heart and even on this world
i was filled with wanderlust
before i met you and in you
i found love and in love i finally found
the home i’d been missing from

and i know
even if we were kept apart
by the fabric of this cosmos
we would shred every seam
until we could meet
because even the stars had a hand
in making us complete
and i was made for you and
you were made
for me.

anneisrestless:

flowers at dusk

bellamorilla:

AMERICAN HORROR STORY FREAK SHOW

bellamorilla:

AMERICAN HORROR STORY FREAK SHOW

ccute-couples:

everything love♥ (source)

ccute-couples:

everything love♥ (source)

philosophyandthearts:

Tamar Kasparian - ‘Femme’

philosophyandthearts:

Tamar Kasparian -Femme

moon-womb:

Pregnancy Study by Zage56

I can’t wait to embark on the next chapter of my life— first fertility treatment booked for the end of August

moon-womb:

Pregnancy Study by Zage56

I can’t wait to embark on the next chapter of my life— first fertility treatment booked for the end of August

Monsters are real, and ghosts are too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.

(Source: coltre)